Once Vicious Enforcer came to the foreground, other feelings became quickly apparent as defense states. The following two were key guardians ensuring that Vicious Enforcer never erupted into my waking life.
Let me show you what I mean about my father being no different from me. A couple years back I became aware of a highly reactive place in myself, a place which harshly judged other men, in particular those who behaved in unconscious, exploitative, or controlling ways.
Now let’s take another look from a different perspective. What about my father’s experience? And my mother’s? Nobody comes to be this way by himself. This kind of unconscious propagation of suffering can only be achieved by someone who has suffered greatly.
What follows is a deep dive, mapping and moving a full, nine-part set in January of 2008, a year or so after having established the nine-part architecture. The set revolves around a deeply buried, internalized violence taken on in childhood and adolescence in response to experiences with my father.
Whenever we as explorers discover something new, the very next question that typically arises is, “Why is it this way and not some other?” I shall have more to say about this in later articles, but at this point I think it is important to give you a preview.
When working with a focused issue, the work will most often remain somewhat limited in scope. But it is rare that anyone has an issue which is truly isolated, and clearing this first issue will reveal another pattern which had previously been hidden.
The deeper the work you do, especially when you work with full, nine-part sets, or even more so when you dig deep into three-set constellations, the more likely it is for you to find yourself in a place where you feel like a raw novice in some area of your life.