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My Journey: This work grew out of my personal journey, and my own story is inextricably woven through the emergence of the discoveries I share here. These posts focus on past (and sometimes current) moments of that journey. “Deep Dives” unpack one phase of Feelingwork transformation to reveal the deeper process.

  • Feelingwork ·
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

The Many-Limbed Creature

As I’ve made my way through the articles highlighting the reactive states of this Vicious Enforcer set having to do with my relationship with authority via my father, I’ve found myself in touch with yet another tentacle that remains over a decade later.
  • Feelingwork ·
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

Witness to It All

In today’s post I want to share an additional state that was not directly part of the set including Vicious Enforcer, but instead stood outside of it, in a witness position. First let me describe the state, and then I will talk a bit about the phenomenon of the witness.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

A Few Interesting Combinations

For today I’d like to share a few images showing combinations of the states, to give you an opportunity to see a little further into how states typically interact. This is more of a visual exploration. See if you can “feel into” what these actual, inner experiences might have been for me, and whether you find yourself relating in some way.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

Powerless Shame

Now let’s take a look at a state that seems to tie everything all together, Powerless. What I mean by that is that it seems to be connected intimately with all of the defensive states, kind of locking them into their configuration. You’ll see what I mean. Let’s dive right into it.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

The Energy of Contempt

This state, Contempt, is a perfect example of the way nearly everything we experience as outside of ourselves has a mirror image buried deep within ourselves. My Contempt hated those I saw as abusive and unconscious, yet its true function was to guarantee I remained unaware of the Vicious Enforcer within myself.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

Reinforcements

The following two states, Reasonableness and Angry at Myself, build further layers of defense to guarantee Vicious Enforcer stays effectively suppressed.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

A Layer of Protection

Once Vicious Enforcer came to the foreground, other feelings became quickly apparent as defense states. The following two were key guardians ensuring that Vicious Enforcer never erupted into my waking life.
  • Vicious Enforcer ·

The Vicious Enforcer

This was the rage I uncovered that day, revealed in the dream as the prison guard. I called it “Vicious Enforcer.” Let me share unedited what I wrote about this state: