Part 17 of a continuing series, (see Part 1 here), documenting and reflecting on a set of states I mapped and moved in 2008. The set revolves around a deeply buried, internalized violence taken on in childhood and adolescence in response to experiences with my father.
Let me briefly cover the shifting of the last two reactive states, Fear and Reasonableness. In this post I’ll keep it short, sharing only the actual notes from these two states, and I’ll hold off commenting on the whole until the next couple of articles.
Fear becomes Parabolic Reflector
“‘Careful…’ (In a world in which there were no oppositional forces, what would this part get to be?) Softer…
“[Now that you have Shared Light and Nexus for Human Light available, as well as Power Flow, Truth Blaze, and Indomitable Presence, what does this part of you get to be?]
“Drops down into my spine, lower back… An image comes to me: I stand up in this coffee shop and begin speaking to everyone, sort of ‘preaching’ in a way, laughing at myself, saying, ‘yes, what I’m doing is “crazy” but I’m not crazy, I just have something to share that I believe will touch every one of you, and I simply must offer you that…’
“(The whole direction of this set is freaking me out a bit… seems awfully big, to the extent of being grandiose and unrealistic… or is it? Maybe that’s the Reasonableness getting uncomfortable – it’s going to be asked to step out of its comfort zone…)
“Warm, burnt orange, material like a water bottle, all across my lower back, just sitting there. Vibration/energy, sending out to all parts of my body.
“This is a kind of supportive backstop for Liberation Power, contains and directs it forward in productive ways, into Liberation Creation. This can expand, outside my body, at my back, full height, as wide as me, about 3 inches thick is enough. ==> Possibly this fits better as a reflector for Nexus and Power Flow. (Still doesn’t feel quite complete, though.)”
Reasonableness becomes Persuasive Clarity
“This seems like it wants to be a kind of communications power, allied with Nexus and Indomitable Presence. This feels like a powerful part, and its presence pulls the whole thing together (after moving the rest).
“Drops to my heart, the thinking and communication come from the heart rather than the head… It’s more intuitive, more connected to my whole self, less reliant on logic and analysis and “cool-headed” reasoning. Able to be passionate. Can draw from the head when useful — always has access to that intelligence.
“==> Seems more like an interactive part, but this one is coming in through the heart and out through the head/throat. I can feel this in action thinking about writing for my website or book.
“Energetic light, high vibration, lots of information encoded within; interactive, drawing in from others expressions, reactions, communications to reach out toward what is the highest good in each person, to draw that forth.
“Multi-chromatic, rich colors; very responsive to color coming in. It’s moving slowly and quickly at the same time. The larger frames of energy and information move slowly, the smaller frames move quickly and simply fill the larger.
“Drawing on others’ understanding and experience to relate their surface knowing to their deeper knowing, eliciting that underlying wisdom, releasing the light to flow. Being sensitive to fluctuations of that light and using them as feedback about how to communicate next. This is happening in small time frames, with single individuals, as well as over larger time frames with entire populations. I am absorbing what is, inside feelingmind and beliefs of my audience, and using it to persuade people to drop more deeply into their truth in all ways.
“This is about engaging others to draw them out, make their light available to themselves and others including me. It is about applying all I know and all I feel and am aware of in others, toward messages of liberation. This is about drawing forth the light in others.
“I am excited to connect with you, and with you, and with you, and to encourage and persuade you to release your gifts to yourself and others around you. We need you! I want you! Come out! Come out!’
“This is my life work. This is what I am meant to do. This is the essence of my action in the world.”
This was me as a very big force in the world, leading, teaching, facilitating insights and connections for many others. I had a big surge of confidence and activity in putting my work out. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. I’ll share more about why in tomorrow’s post.