State Group: My Small Self

Cranky/Angry/Rage

Like embers, carbon, ash, and fire, smoldering in Cranky phase. Fire filling body, emanating from face in Angry phase. Erupting into volcanic torrent in Rage

Overwhelm

Like a churning, seething horde of giant, 4-inch-long insects around my torso. Frenzied, chaotic movement, like an army of ninjas on meth trying to defend

Hopeless

Blackness, like an egg surrounding me and through me. Permeates everything inside, blocks everything outside, (only partially – I can still feel all the painful

Alone/Abandoned

A vacuum where a protective, warm, nurturing body is supposed to be. An empty, vacant space all around me, about a foot or two. No

Longing for Comfort

Moist, red, soft, fleshy solid, super-heightened sensitivity, reaching, on all surfaces of my body, including the alimentary canal. Surfaces, 1/2-inch thick. Small, peristaltic micro-movements, heightened

Hurt

Like galaxy stuff, torus shape, imploding on itself, as if being sucked into a black hole at the center of my heart. Giant inner dimensions

Core Fear

A dense, concentrated gas, swirling viciously around its center which is nearly empty, like a vacuum. Ice cold. Small, maybe two inches diameter, spherical, but

Cringe

Soft solid, like putty/clay, porous, not real dense. Contracting, twisting as if to avoid being hit. Bluish gray. Warmer than body temp. Sound of a

Bombardment

Massive, dense noise, as if made of sharp, hard boulders, unconscious, expanding to fill all space around me, wanting to crowd me out of existence.