Blackness, like an egg surrounding me and through me. Permeates everything inside, blocks everything outside, (only partially – I can still feel all the painful stuff). A dampening silence inside it. Substance is like egg white but dry, has viscosity and thickness but not moisture. Resists movement. Neutral temp. Completely opaque, black.
A sense of suffocating, like it would be so easy to just give in and die, now.
It’s too late for me. It’s too late for all of us. I’ll never be free. I’m too old, too weak, too broke. I’ll be dead first. I give up.