A Feelingwork Session in Detail: Receiving Love

Identifying Fear


J: What would you say that is, that’s being pushed up? What’s your experience of what’s behind the plate?

S: It sounds weird but it feels like the metal plate is kind of pushing on the fear, like the fear is rising up in my throat.

J: Ahh.

S: So, like, “Oohhhhhh!” Kind of a panicked, “Whoaaaaaaah,” like that.

J: OK. So it’s like the fear is actually behind the No!.

S: Yes.

J: Ah hah. OK. 

S: It’s like the No! is to protect, almost, (that sounds weird too, but), to protect the fear.

J: Right. And what would you like to call the fear? Do you want to call it “fear” or something else?

S: Actually, it’s like Fearful Fear.

J: Ah.

S: Which is kind of funny, but it seems to be what’s true.

J: OK. Great. You can call feelings anything you want. So Fearful Fear is a great name. I’m going to suggest that we go ahead and map Fearful Fear, because we will find that No! probably isn’t going to want to move as long as that fear is there. Right?

S: Right, because it’s the protector.

J: Exactly.

S: It’s not going to go anywhere as long as there’s something to protect.

J: Right.

Here we see clearly how the No! and the Fearful Fear coexist and interact. These are two distinct feeling states that are simultaneously present. Susan’s awareness of the actual, felt experience of this interaction provides insight into the meaning of the feelings.